Adulting: The good, The bad, and The Ugly

Friend-o’s and friendlies what is good! It blows my mind how much can happen in two weeks, it’s actually astonishing and I want to keep you all updated. Let’s kick this off by saying this whole adulting thing is a SCAM!!! I know we hear it all the time but let’s actually talk about why it is. Looking back to my childhood I was eager to be an adult, as if the world was better. SIKE! Why are we so quick to grow up? Yea, you get freedom but with that freedom comes responsibility, cliché but it’s true. Like…I have no choice but to get up and go to work because I won’t be able to pay bills if I don’t. Call in sick? Nah, I take extra shifts so I can have some type of cushion or I’ll do little things on the side that’ll give me some spending money. It isn’t always fun, so why didn’t I wait to grow up? I know that younger me never took the time to process that everything now falls on us. No one is telling you to do anything and although that sounds cool it can sometimes be a trap. If you feel like taking a trip, you can book it. If you don’t want to go to the gym, just order a pizza. If you don’t like your job, quit and go in a new direction. While most of these things sound amazing, everything has a consequence and it all falls on you. If you are reading this and you’re not paying your own bills yet, this is not meant to scare you but to give a little lesson on balance. So this is the part where you ask what does that balance looks like. “WhAt dOeS tHaT baLanCe LOok lIkE JD?” Well I’m glad you asked, let me paint a picture for you. You move out and now you’re trying to figure out how to continue making money, chase your dreams, and still enjoy your life in the process. Great! Even while we all are working on our dreams and all that good stuff, don’t burn yourself out. In your own way try and still have fun. If you like walks in the park, museums, or even if you like to take yourself out and splurge (check your bank account first) you should be able to. This does not mean you should do it everyday but have a BALANCE. I still fail at successfully having that balance because in all reality my mindset was wired to choose vibes every single time. I say WAS wired because I had to sit myself down and realize that if I spend more than I need to, rent won’t be covered and no one wants to be evicted. I live pretty close to New York and weekends in New York can get expensive really fast. You spend $2.75 on the train and you think to yourself “that’s calm”, but then you’re meeting up with friends and y’all get hungry then somehow end up thrifting then you’re out for the night. All of a sudden it’s 3am and you’re heading home in an Uber because trains run every hour and its 59 minutes till the next one comes……vibes got me here more than once. Did I mention there have also been days like this where I still had work the next day. Don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made. Like I said, I’m still not 100% successful at the whole balance thing but I am trying my best and I’m definitely not having nights like that anymore. Now my balance looks more like this:

During the week I fill my days up with tasks I’d like to get done. Some of these things can include writing a new blog, working out, working on a new sewing project, or doing a photoshoot/practicing poses. At the end of everyday I have about 1 -1 1/2 hrs to decompress and relax so I can mentally prepare for the nest day. I do this routine so that I’m still working on my goals during the week, and when the weekend comes I feel like I deserve to go do whatever might be happening. For example, this past week/weekend I went to Rolling Loud. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a three day music festival featuring various Hip-Hop/Rap artist. I got to see some people I really mess with and others that I’ve never even listened to. I genuinely love concerts because being in the crowd, moshing, and yelling the lyrics at the top of your lungs is truly an experience. Plus when you add all the props, lights and screens and just take a moment to actually see what is going on and be present it is super freaking cool. But before all of that happened, I made sure to get what I needed to get done and made sure I set aside money to spend for that week. Creating a plan or a system and having a budget will always help with the adulting process. Is adulting still ghetto? Hunnid percent, but it’s also fun and throughout this whole process I’m also figuring out who I am outside of school. Before it was always just I am a student and I have to pass classes to graduate. Now it is I am an adult and the world is my oyster. The world has so much to offer so even while I am doing what I need to do, I’m also venturing, seeing & trying new things, and just overall trying to be happy. If you’re a “new” adult and you are going through the same things… you’re not alone. If you’re going to be a “new” adult soon…remember to have that balance figured out because it’ll make everything easier. Lastly, after doing this whole routine for a while don’t be afraid to break routine and have a well deserved me day because it can get tiring. We don’t have to rush to our goals, it isn’t a race to see who is successful first. You’re never too early or too late, you’ll get there right on time because God gotchu as long as you align everything with Him. You will be just fine. As always, I love y’all and appreciate you specifically for reading this blog. Now go on about your day and do something with your life. Oh and call your mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, or friend, they miss you and you probably need to hear a friendly familiar voice today.